see-through faith

When I woke this morning I was singing this song. It was a really wonderful way to start the day. It struck me then that somehow along the way I’ve lost the habit of listening to worship music at home, and the practice of soaking in the presence of God on a regular basis has slipped too. That’s something I want back …

A friend asked me what it is that I like about Beauty for Brokenness, or rather why it speaks to and ministers to me. I wasn’t sure how to answer that … I think it’s perhaps because it’s a very holistic song. It’s not particularly me focused, but rather contains the essence of mission-spirituality. It is a recognition that we are called by the mission of God to join in his mission … in works which bring justice and peace and hope to a broken world.

The chorus is lovely of course, but I especially like the second verse

Shelter for fragile lives, Cures for their ills
Work for the craftsman,Trade for their skills
Land for the dispossessed, Rights for the weak
Voices to plead the cause, Of those who can’t speak

It’s not enough just to sing this though, I want to live it.

A few months ago in my friend’s patch in London I heard what I thought was a rather radical sermon. The minster said something like ‘if you are buying fair trade products, that’s great. Keep doing it. But remember that’s only the start …’ I think that’s worth remembering.  We are to take baby steps, we are to begin practices that will help us in our walk as Jesus’ disciples … only in doing that, can we become mature enough to take bigger and bigger steps. Rome (London/Turku) wasn’t built in a day … but it started with a vision, and then one brick or stone placed in the right place, onto which other bricks and stones could be placed. Jesus is our cornerstone, (Eph 2:20) and our journey -our pilgrimage- begins with a small step.

Now there’s a thought!

No, I don’t think I’ve ever taken my knitting to church. In fact it’s a long, long time since I’ve knitted anything, though it used to be a favourite pasttime. In a life gone by.

I read a post by David Muir earlier today, and it got me thinking.

I have mused … why our church leaders are so reticent to allow our present forms of church to be re-knitted into new expressions of church, rather than allowing them to be frayed into oblivion. Of course, it is a lot of work. But more than that, perhaps they just don’t know how to knit; the skill got lost in Christendom when the world was stuffed full of pullovers, and now we dare not allow a pullover to unravel because the truth is we haven’t a clue how to knit it back together. We only know how to darn the glorious old pullover inherited from the past and pass it down the generations, adjusting it a little for a new kind of wearer.

…

I am told that up to half of all people who find faith through Alpha courses never become long-term members of any church. Perhaps it’s because they don’t want to be darned into the old pullover, however cleverly that is done. They are looking for the old pullover to allow itself to be unpicked, and then to be knitted with them into a new one.

As I said it got me thinking.  I loved Alpha. It was really significant in my life as a fairly new believer. I loved the format – it really worked for me.  It was really interactive and I loved it that we ate a meal together and shared life.   Meeting with Alpha was a good and safe place to ask questions (and boy did I ask questions …on the way there/home (we car pooled), during the meal, during the teaching,  and by email between Wednesdays!).

It strikes me once again that one of my frustrations with church (when I was a leader, as well as now when I’m – well- not) is that it isn’t interactive. Church is often boring and passive, and I’m frustated because attending church right now isn’t helping me grow spiritually! Where I am is where I am. This is personal and yes a bit negative. Stop reading now if you are going to get offended.

I feel we are – in the main – all caught up in the three-point sermon + worship (whether a five hymn sandwich or an extended time of praise before the sermon). On Good Sundays there is – of course- the Eucharist. Now, to be perfectly honest I’m reacting negatively to (monologues maskerading as) sermons …  where someone spouts at you and there’s no space, time or culture of interrupting and asking questions. Honestly, sometimes it feels easier just to switch off! But I know I’m not growing and that’s so frustrating. Then there’s the coffee. (Where two or three Christians in Finland are … there is coffee!) That’s usually served afterwards in the church building, but that doesn’t come close to sharing a real meal in someone’s home.

And I know I’m not alone in my frustrations!

After having read David’s blurb today, I’m wondering today what unravelling I need to do, and when and how I’m to pick up the knitting once more!BTW the knitting picture wasn’t David Muir’s … it was sparked off by a comment that John Drane made

‘What we have is comfortable but frayed around the edges. Can pioneers knit it into a new shape to make Christian community of the future?’

I’m not sure I am a pioneer, but I can knit! And I do want to be part of a living, loving, vibrant body of Christ. That’ll do .., for starters!

You might have noticed that this blog hasn’t been very God-focused recently. There are a zillion reasons for that – partly I’ve been distancing myself from the church, and partly I’ve been rethinking (again) what it means to be a follower of Jesus. All too often here in the west we are so dualistic in our thinking. Things are either Holy or Secular or so we think. We even make the mistake of putting Mary and Martha into two opposite camps.

One result of all this thinking is that I’ve started to see life – Christian life – in more holistic terms. And I’ve been very impressed here in London how so many of the churches (the people that are the church) are involved in everyday life and tackling issues (such as homelessness, and unfairness in society). I wish we in Finland were more mission minded but that’s another story. What understanding life more holistically means however, is that I’ve started to notice God at work – His Kingdom if you like- in many guises out and about.

I’m in the process of starting a new blog (this one will continue of course) but over at eyes of faith I’m going to try to post a photo a day (from September 1st, though the blog is already up and running). The idea is that the daily photo will show some aspect of God’s Kingdom (through my eyes, and taken with my camera).

Eija came up with the idea of making this a challenge that we can all join. More information here. We’d love to see God at work through your eyes.

Yesterday I started to write a post about a new book I’m reading

As you can see it’s by Brian McLaren, a Christian leader who admits he has been labelled “a heretic”, “dangerous” and “unbiblical” (and probably a lot worse!)

So why then am I reading him? It’s a good question!

I first came across McLaren’s writings when I was still in seminary. We did a course on post-modernism. The teaching left a lot to be desired (to put it mildly!) and so I went on a quest on my own. McLaren was one of the writers I discovered. But there were others too. What they all had in common was that they made me think. And what I found was- surprise surprise- new ways of engaging with the God I love and hold in awe.

Just before Christmas I heard McLaren speak in person. He and Steve Chalk were put in the hot spots in a local church just behind Waterloo station in London and grilled. Actually it wasn’t quite like that. They handled a whole range of questions from a very interested and diverse audience.  It was there my friend bought the book I’m now reading as a Christmas gift to me.

I could write loads about A New Kind of Christianity, but most of it would fail to give justice to it, because McLaren really does have the talent of getting under my skin, and as I said already, making me engage in the text and think for myself.

Example: McLaren talks about slavery. That’s a topic close to my heart. While in London at Easter I was privileged to watch the movie Amazing Grace which tells of the struggle of William Wilberforce, a deeply religious man, who was led not into the pastoral ranks but into the world of politics, and who spent his life working for the abolition of slavery in the United Kingdom.

But to get back to McLaren. He makes the very interesting point (page after page – pp.93-100) that for years slavery was defended by “the argument that the Bible defends and legitimises slavery” (p.97), can be defended by passages in both the Old and New Testament (Eph 6:5-8, Tit 2:9-10, and Col 3:22-4) but that ‘that whole argument ended up in ‘oblivion’ because it was discredited by events’.

McLaren goes on to write

We not only stopped defending [slavery], we repented of it, so that now a pro-slavery advocate would be excommunicated from the very denominations whose leading pastors once defended slavery in the name of a ‘pro-slavery God’, quoting a ‘pro-slavery Bible’

And perhaps equally importantly

We’ve gone through a similar process in regard to anti-semitism, segregation and apartheid. Many of us have also gone through a similar process regarding the status of women in the Church … We are also going through a similar process regarding stewardship of the environment, religious supremacy and (I hope) the sanctioning of war

I really don’t want to get into a debate here about any of these issues in themselves (we all hold opinions that we feel are right and in line with the Bible as we understand it) but what I find most interesting is McLaren’s suggestion that we ought to question

the habitual, conventional way of reading and interpreting the Bible – that allowed slavery, anti-Semitism, apartheid, chauvenism, environmenal plundering, prejudice … and other injustices to be legitimised and defended for so long.

As I said it’s all making me think. And that’s great! There is a connection too to yesterday’s post entitled but is it church?, which I feel is more than a co-incidence (hence the title of this post)

Sadly I’m out of time now … but check back later, I’ll be back to write more on this.

-stf

Why is there so little anxiety to get time to pray?
Why is there so little forethought in the laying out of time and employments so as to secure a large portion of each day for prayer?

Why is there so much speaking yet so little prayer?
Why is there so much running to and fro, yet so little prayer?
Why so much bustle and business, yet so little prayer?
Why so many meetings with our fellow-men, yet so few meetings with God?

….

It is the want of these solitary hours that not only injures our own growth in grace, but makes us such unprofitable members of the Church of Christ, and that renders our lives useless.

Horatius Bonar
Taken from the Celtic Daily Prayer (Northumbrian Office), p. 91 (emphasis mine)

Ouch and Ouch.

I love to pray but it doesn’t mean it’s always easy to make time for it.

Right now I’m overwhelmed with trying to get my thesis in shape to submit it. And there’s other work that is pressing too. As I juggle with the demands it’s really easy to be tempted to skip a time of prayer – or cut it short – and skimp on reading the Bible etc. and this week the temptation NOT to fast from the internet on Friday is really strong. The argument goes ‘I have so much to do how will I get it done’ … but deep down I know that that’s looking at things the wrong way round. I want to be more like Martin Luther whom I’m told once said “I have so much to do today that I will spend the first three hours in prayer!” or like Br Lawrence who learnt to practice the presence of God and keep the channels of communication open wherever he was and whatever he was doing.

Scripture says we don’t have because we don’t ask (Jas 4:2) so my prayer today is

Father God, help me get my priorities right.
Help me get back to the routine of having prayer as the essential element in my day (more necessary than any meal!) Amen.

As I sit here pondering on the FF yesterday I’m reminded to that our walk with God- my walk – is not linear.

There are detours and sometimes we have to retrace our steps. And there are seasons. Sometimes it’s more obvious that God has me by the hand than at other times. But He’s always with me. It feels so important to remind myself of that: even in the dark spots and the hard valleys He is there.

I want to grow IN Him.

That happens by allowing myself to be saturated BY Him and not by my own striving. Spiritual Disciplines are necessary – and great – but my motivation has to be right.

Neil Coles transformation groups (blogged about early) set the impossible task of reading 30 chapters of the Bible a week (e.g 1/3 of Genesis or Romans twice!) If one in the group doesn’t manage to do it the whole group take the same 30 chapters the next week. His point in this is that if we read stingily we don’t learn to love the Word and hunger for it. We get caught up into striving. eija and I did the read the Bible in 90 days a couple of years ago. We didn’t think we’d manage it. It was a full hour of reading every day – but we both did it- though some of those OT books were a mightly struggle!

In my seeking growth – falling more in love with Jesus is probably the primary goal. But I know that spending time with Him (in worship, soaking, prayer, meeting Him through other people and yeah the Word too) is crucially important.

Today is Saturday – I’m off to bake bread to share with friends later on, bake an apple pie and yeah read the Word and Worship. Emmanuel – God with us.

Today I am SEEKING GROWTH by asking “How is my walk with God?”

Friday 4th:  Seeking Growth so that our daily lives are filled, transformed and overflowing with love of God and our neighbours

As I’ve previously mentioned I’m fasting from the internet on Fridays for the next few weeks /months and using this as an opportunity to meditate on God and my life with Him. More background information to this here.

As mentioned yesterday, on this the nth (I’ve lost count now!) Friday of this series I invite you to join me in reflecting on the role of forgiveness in our lives.

I’ll be using RT Kendall’s article on forgiving ourselves as a starting point for my contemplation.

First Corinthians 13, the great love chapter of the Bible, is a perfect demonstration of the cause and effect of total forgiveness. The apex of this wonderful passage is the phrase found in verse 5, Love “keeps no record of wrongs” (NIV).

…

In the same way, forgiving oneself means to experience the love that keeps no record of our own wrongs. It is one thing to have this breakthrough regarding others; it is quite another to experience the greater breakthrough—total forgiveness of ourselves.

My Friday Fast from the internet continues this week … I’ll continue working on my MA thesis (using Friday morning for reading) but will use part of the day to contemplate forgiveness.

You might remember that I’d planned to re-read RT Kendall’s book Total Forgiveness while up at Jumi and on walkabout in Östra-Bothnia last week, only my copy was AWOL – grrr. However just yesterday an excerpt from that same book popped up in Spirit-Led Woman ezine. God’s providence is great! Hallelujah! In it RT is looking at forgiving ourselves.

Now forgiveness isn’t a spiritual discipline precisely – but in Inspire‘s Way of Life it comes under the category of ‘seeking growth’. I like that.

Am I seeking all that God has done
for me in Christ?

• A life of forgiveness and fellowship. Do I come to God in repentance, experiencing his forgiveness, and entering the divine embrace

That’s pretty powerful isn’t it?

• Am I repentant?
• Do I experience His forgiveness.
• Do I dare enter the embrace of the Trinity – allow myself to be caught up in the Father’s arms, by the power of the Spirit in me and because of what Jesus, the Son, has made possible for me?

Living a life that is forgiving towards others – those who have hurt us, deliberately or otherwise -  isn’t easy. But often forgiving ourselves is even harder. At least that’s my experience.

RT Kendall writes

[F]orgiving oneself means to experience the love that keeps no record of our own wrongs. It is one thing to have this breakthrough regarding others; it is quite another to experience the greater breakthrough—total forgiveness of ourselves.

RT lists several reasons why forgiving ourselves is a stumbling block … you can read the whole article here for yourself. I’ve printed it out and will be working through it tomorrow … allowing the Word to read me as I read it with RT’s help. Join me if you feel so led.