see-through faith

Wesley understood the means of grace. My friend just wrote an academic paper all about that so I know more about his understanding of that than I did a month or so ago.

For me the spiritual disciplines are, simply, those things that help me get closer to God. The are – in Wesleyan terms – works of piety (reading, prayer, Communion, Christian conferencing – i.e. hanging out with others etc) and also works of mercy (visiting the sick etc.) One of the things I like about Inspire is that they are brought together as mission-spirituality. The hyphen there is very important – it sort of pulls you away from either extremity and back to a point of balance. But I digress.

As I wrote yesterday. I’ve determined to read Romans 6, 7, and 8 daily during September. Today when re-reading it I was struck by the use of the senses.  In Romans 6 for example there’s phrases like ‘we can see where we’re going in our new grace-sovereign country’ (v 5) and ‘Thank God you’ve started listening to a new master’ (v.18). That was a new ‘catch’ for me.

But what really spoke was Rom 8:8. I’m using the Message btw

Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s spirit is in them – living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end: attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. (emphasis mine)

I want to live in that spacious, free life which is full of God. I want to live there again. And it struck me (not for the first time) that practising the spiritual disciplines really helps in that.

Another thing I’ve started doing is reading a devotional. My friend (the same one who wrote the paper) bought be a book (or should I say brick of a book) entitled Smith Wigglesworth: Devotional.  Today’s entry (actually it’s from Sept 4th but I’m a bit behind) concludes with this thought for the day:

It is when you get out of the will of God that you have a hard time.

I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret that at first. Then it hit me – we might have hard times for all kinds of reasons, but when we lose focus on Him we lose the ability to spend time with Him, and that makes the hard times really really difficult. Bad things do happen to Christians, but being in the will of God, I suppose, makes it easier to accept, easier to fight back, easier to hope …

I haven’t been much of a disciple recently.

Last week – for the first time in a long time – I picked up the INspire way of life.

Am I practicing the presence of God in my life?

ouch.

ouch – because the answer is ‘no, not really!’ And the real question from that is: what am I doing/ going to do about it?

Firstly I have to say that starting the photo blog eyes of faith has really helped. Getting out there taking photos on a theme might not sound like much, but it’s fun and it’s life giving and I’m enjoying it. Best of all, when back at home and seeing which photo God uses to speak to me has been really good – a kind of contemporary spiritual discipline I think. The revelations haven’t been earth shattering, but they have been significant – to me -  and for me they are evidence too of God’s prevenient grace still at work in me, still calling me to Him, still inviting me to fellowship with Him.

All good, but not enough.

John Wesley once said ‘preach faith until you receive it’

… well, as most of you know, I’m not preaching anymore  but it struck me that I maybe I need to adapt Wesley’s words and wrestle with the Word until I begin to believe it, embrace it, live it fully again. (or something like that!) … So from the first of September I determined to read Romans 6, 7, 8 on a daily basis. It’s already starting to bear fruit – all praise to God. I think being able to enjoy evensong, (i.e. put aside my own expectations and prejudices and allow God to meet me though the service) has been part of that.  It’s early days yet, but I think the thaw has begun …

In the Inspire Way of life seeing God is explained as

• A life of spiritual awakening
• A life of spiritual vision
• A life of spiritual attention
• A life of thanks and praise

And I want all that! (and more!) but I know it starts with a rekindled relationship with Him.

Yesterday at evensong we were reminded what it is to have an attitude of thankfulness, like the one leper (the foreigner) whom Jesus healed and who returned to thank Him. (Lk 17:11-19). Today I’m thankful for eyes of faith to see Him, and a heart of faith that wants MORE of Him in my life.

When I woke this morning I was singing this song. It was a really wonderful way to start the day. It struck me then that somehow along the way I’ve lost the habit of listening to worship music at home, and the practice of soaking in the presence of God on a regular basis has slipped too. That’s something I want back …

A friend asked me what it is that I like about Beauty for Brokenness, or rather why it speaks to and ministers to me. I wasn’t sure how to answer that … I think it’s perhaps because it’s a very holistic song. It’s not particularly me focused, but rather contains the essence of mission-spirituality. It is a recognition that we are called by the mission of God to join in his mission … in works which bring justice and peace and hope to a broken world.

The chorus is lovely of course, but I especially like the second verse

Shelter for fragile lives, Cures for their ills
Work for the craftsman,Trade for their skills
Land for the dispossessed, Rights for the weak
Voices to plead the cause, Of those who can’t speak

It’s not enough just to sing this though, I want to live it.

A few months ago in my friend’s patch in London I heard what I thought was a rather radical sermon. The minster said something like ‘if you are buying fair trade products, that’s great. Keep doing it. But remember that’s only the start …’ I think that’s worth remembering.  We are to take baby steps, we are to begin practices that will help us in our walk as Jesus’ disciples … only in doing that, can we become mature enough to take bigger and bigger steps. Rome (London/Turku) wasn’t built in a day … but it started with a vision, and then one brick or stone placed in the right place, onto which other bricks and stones could be placed. Jesus is our cornerstone, (Eph 2:20) and our journey -our pilgrimage- begins with a small step.

That’s what my friend asked over at Soul Survivor this past week … My initial reaction was. Help I don’t know how to twitter or tweet.

It struck me that as Christians we often assume that people understand what we are talking about when we talk about santification (ok so we make that a bit easier by using the term ‘getting saved’ but let’s face it what would that mean to anyone outside of the Christian circles we frequent?

You can read some of the tweets youth did send to Jesus over the past week here. It makes for interesting reading!

For this greying 50 year old I have to say that I think prayer is easier … but that’s only because someone took the time years ago to teach me to pray. If you feel up to the task and want to teach me to twitter and tweet, I’m up for that challenge too. After all I know Jesus has got my number

Now there’s a thought!

No, I don’t think I’ve ever taken my knitting to church. In fact it’s a long, long time since I’ve knitted anything, though it used to be a favourite pasttime. In a life gone by.

I read a post by David Muir earlier today, and it got me thinking.

I have mused … why our church leaders are so reticent to allow our present forms of church to be re-knitted into new expressions of church, rather than allowing them to be frayed into oblivion. Of course, it is a lot of work. But more than that, perhaps they just don’t know how to knit; the skill got lost in Christendom when the world was stuffed full of pullovers, and now we dare not allow a pullover to unravel because the truth is we haven’t a clue how to knit it back together. We only know how to darn the glorious old pullover inherited from the past and pass it down the generations, adjusting it a little for a new kind of wearer.

…

I am told that up to half of all people who find faith through Alpha courses never become long-term members of any church. Perhaps it’s because they don’t want to be darned into the old pullover, however cleverly that is done. They are looking for the old pullover to allow itself to be unpicked, and then to be knitted with them into a new one.

As I said it got me thinking.  I loved Alpha. It was really significant in my life as a fairly new believer. I loved the format – it really worked for me.  It was really interactive and I loved it that we ate a meal together and shared life.   Meeting with Alpha was a good and safe place to ask questions (and boy did I ask questions …on the way there/home (we car pooled), during the meal, during the teaching,  and by email between Wednesdays!).

It strikes me once again that one of my frustrations with church (when I was a leader, as well as now when I’m – well- not) is that it isn’t interactive. Church is often boring and passive, and I’m frustated because attending church right now isn’t helping me grow spiritually! Where I am is where I am. This is personal and yes a bit negative. Stop reading now if you are going to get offended.

I feel we are – in the main – all caught up in the three-point sermon + worship (whether a five hymn sandwich or an extended time of praise before the sermon). On Good Sundays there is – of course- the Eucharist. Now, to be perfectly honest I’m reacting negatively to (monologues maskerading as) sermons …  where someone spouts at you and there’s no space, time or culture of interrupting and asking questions. Honestly, sometimes it feels easier just to switch off! But I know I’m not growing and that’s so frustrating. Then there’s the coffee. (Where two or three Christians in Finland are … there is coffee!) That’s usually served afterwards in the church building, but that doesn’t come close to sharing a real meal in someone’s home.

And I know I’m not alone in my frustrations!

After having read David’s blurb today, I’m wondering today what unravelling I need to do, and when and how I’m to pick up the knitting once more!BTW the knitting picture wasn’t David Muir’s … it was sparked off by a comment that John Drane made

‘What we have is comfortable but frayed around the edges. Can pioneers knit it into a new shape to make Christian community of the future?’

I’m not sure I am a pioneer, but I can knit! And I do want to be part of a living, loving, vibrant body of Christ. That’ll do .., for starters!

You might have noticed that this blog hasn’t been very God-focused recently. There are a zillion reasons for that – partly I’ve been distancing myself from the church, and partly I’ve been rethinking (again) what it means to be a follower of Jesus. All too often here in the west we are so dualistic in our thinking. Things are either Holy or Secular or so we think. We even make the mistake of putting Mary and Martha into two opposite camps.

One result of all this thinking is that I’ve started to see life – Christian life – in more holistic terms. And I’ve been very impressed here in London how so many of the churches (the people that are the church) are involved in everyday life and tackling issues (such as homelessness, and unfairness in society). I wish we in Finland were more mission minded but that’s another story. What understanding life more holistically means however, is that I’ve started to notice God at work – His Kingdom if you like- in many guises out and about.

I’m in the process of starting a new blog (this one will continue of course) but over at eyes of faith I’m going to try to post a photo a day (from September 1st, though the blog is already up and running). The idea is that the daily photo will show some aspect of God’s Kingdom (through my eyes, and taken with my camera).

Eija came up with the idea of making this a challenge that we can all join. More information here. We’d love to see God at work through your eyes.

This was the view from Vauxhall station yesterday. You can clearly see the headquarters of ‘The Big Issue’ in the background.

For those of you unfamiliar with BIG ISSUE, it is charity which since 2005 has produced the Big Issue, a weekly magazine produced for homeless people (and the vulnerably housed) to sell in order to earn a legitimate income. Even once housed vendors may continue to sell the magazine  for a while (they keep 50% of all sales) in order to be able to move away from the conditions which caused their homelessness in the first place. So it’s well worth supporting and I have to say I quite enjoy browsing the magazine too – especially the book and film reviews!

Since my friend moved here in South London (back in October) we have got to know one lady who regularly stands outside Tescos selling the Big Issue. We always stop to talk to her when she’s there, and try to buy the magazine once a week, (and in some ways I feel that IS just as important as supporting her financially!). What is so exciting is that she is slowly beginning to turn her life around – which is so encouraging.

There are so many homeless in this part of London that it really is heartbreaking. Although the homeless are much more visible in the winter as they roll out their sleeping bags or blankets and huddle in doorways or under the railway arches at nights, even during this heatwave in London  I have come into contact with many of them (although in fewer numbers). Just a week ago a homeless man (from the North of England) sat next to me on the bus. He was starving for conversation. He didn’t ask me for money (and I didn’t give any, though I wished I had had some food/drink in my bag to give him) but he wanted to talk to me about the book he’d seen me reading!

Last autumn some of you might remember I was privileged to help out at St Peter’s Vauxhall on the Robes Project. (There are very few possibilities to be missional in this way in Finland). There – while sharing supper with some of the homeless guys- I got to hear some of their stories of how they’d ended up homeless. There was a pattern of stories from Eastern Europeans (Poland, Latvia etc) which began to get to me. They, like the woman selling the BIG ISSUE,  had been lured here by companies who had no intention of keeping their end of the bargain in either the job they originally advertised or the conditions (accommodation etc) they had promised for the immigrant workers. These men and women had ended up stranded in London, in the coldest winter in centuries: they were jobless, homeless and without the fare to go back home.  My heart went out to them and still does!

The Big Issue foundation stands behind the belief that it is wrong for anyone to be without housing, to not have the support of others, and the most vulnerable in every society are worthy of our support. It’s well worth getting behind, even if it’s ‘only’ buying the magazine regularly from a local vendor.

AS I said though I do enjoy flicking through the magazine too. Today the editorial by Charles Howgego caught my eye. He writes

It’s 25 years since Live Aid, Bob Geldolf’s Wembley Concert that attempted to highlight the plight of starving Ethiopians by putting together the greatest line-up of pop and rock musicians ever

(I have to say that makes me feel SO old. It’s hard to believe it’s 25 years since Live Aid and even longer since Do they know it’s Christmas? (also a Geldolf initiative) hit the top of the charts!)

The editorial went on to say that Live Aid was one of the biggest global TV audiences of all time … and in one sense, I guess, it was a time the world came together around one issue  - one big issue – the plight of the starving people of East Africa. (This kind of global response to a huge tragedy was also see in the post tsunami efforts!) However, according to the editorial, Live Aid came and went: (although we surely remember it, and must recognise it has done untold good with the money raised, as well as challenging ordinary people that they too can do their bit to help the poor) and Howgego goes on to argue that BIG ISSUE  model of helping the homeless help themselves is a good one because it is sustainable and is infinitely reproducible in other nations (and a BIG ISSUE scheme similar to the one in the UK has just been launched in Korea, and is already up and running in other industrial nations such as Japan, Australia and South Africa where homelessness is rife). That really got me thinking!

All too often the papers (here) go on about people claiming thousands of pounds in state benefits (and it is clear that some people really do abuse the system, while for others -crazily- they find themselves in the position of being better off (financially) by choosing NOT to go to work!) … but the homeless are the people who fail to get any regular benefits at all because they are ‘of no fixed abode’ and they persistently fall through the gap. They really are the vulnerable in society, (and the orphans and widows the Old Testament told us to ignore at our own peril!)

It makes me so thankful that some in society have banded together to support the production of the BIG ISSUE, that advertisers are willing to place ads there (to finance it), so that the homeless can be given a job and a future, and that ordinary people -like you and me- can give a helping hand to help the homeless dig and claw their way out of the pit they find themselves in by shelling out the £1.70 to get the magazine. It’s not much, but it’s a start, and the smile of our friend outside tescos as she shared the stories of how she was turning her life around really put  a spring in my step as we walked home from the supermarket today.

God is good – sometimes we are called to extend his hands of love! What a privilege that is!

Wildlife programme on post-breakfast tv this morning the presenter said

there’s not much more to do than sunbathe and play.

I misheard him and thought he’d said pray … and found myself smiling. It’s really not a bad attitude to life is it? I think Jesus could have lived with it too!

Earlier today a friend asked me “what next …?” It’s a fair question-though one I’ve come to dread.  I just wish it were a bit easier for me to answer. I wrote a short summary of where my life is / might be going and ended my email with the phrase,

well God is still on the phone

What I meant to say – of course – was that God is still on the throne (i.e. in charge), but my slip really made me laugh and think a bit too

We often talk a lot about communicating with God don’t we? Just wish sometimes it would be as simple as picking up the phone, or sending an email or updating a facebook status to find out what’s what with God sometimes. I KNOW it’s all about journeying with God, but at times I find myself unable to see the wood for the trees, and hear God at all.

That’s where the spiritual disciplines kick in. I wish I were better at journalling. It’s always to look back at prophetic words I’ve had/been given, and also at answers to prayer. I know I miss out a lot because I’m not more disciplined in this area. Right now I know I need to hear from God more clearly, and the best way of that happening is spending quality time with Him instead of simply talking about Him.

Strikes me that as Christians sometimes we spend so much time talking about the Church (and problem solving issues within it) that we stop talking about Jesus, and worse still we stop talking/listening to Him.

Read a funny thing on the train yesterday, entitled ‘excuses excuses’

It was a short article explaining delays on the way to (or worse from!) work. I expect we’ve all heard the ‘leaves or (wrong kind of ) snow on the line’ excuses, and apparently even too much sun can ‘bend the track’ or ‘obscure signals’ but the funniest one was the account of a rail company’s failure to pay the electricity bill which resulted in the supplier simply cutting the electrical supply to a busy signal box!

as the article concluded

only in England!

Indeed!

That said, the train I travelled back to London on last night must have fallen under the grace of God or something! It wasn’t on time, it was announced – with great surprise I might add – that we had arrived one and a half minutes early. Well done Great Western. Shame the train to cornwall was 28 minutes late because of signal failure. Wonder if it was you who had failed to pay your electric bill (grin!)

Paddington station might be famous because of the bear from darkest Peru who was adopted from there, but Paddington station (and the whole area) is my least favourite of the busy long distance stations. And it’s really quite a rough place to wait for a bus. The one I caught back ‘home’ was a ‘bendy bus’ (two carriages) and which attracts homeless people and other down and outs because you can board on any door (and therefore dodge paying!). A very pleasant and young homeless guy, beer can in hand but definitely not drunk, got on, sat next to me and struck up a conversation about the book I was reading. He told me a little of his life story. He’s been on the streets for several years and recognised that he was caught up in the cycle of not being able to get somewhere to live without having a job. He was pretty honest too about the fact that he didn’t really want a job anyway and actually preferred to live by begging (though interestingly he didn’t ask me for money). And we spoke about some of the difficulties in living on the streets.

There are an awful lot of homeless people in this part of London (probably all the poorer parts too to be honest). Last winter (as you may have read here on this blog) I was privileged to help out at Robes here at St Peter’s Church in Vauxhall (offering shelter to a small group of homeless men and women on Monday evenings).

When I commented that there weren’t so many around in the summer, and speculated that maybe they had managed to get temporary seasonal jobs … my new friend put me right “oh no, they’ve all bunked off down to Glastonbury!” I have no way of knowing if it’s true or not, but it made me laugh. I suspect there are as many homeless as ever (unemployment alone in the UK is running at half the population of Finland!) , but when the weather is warmer and drier, there are simply fewer homeless guys sleeping under the railway arches in Vauxhall and other stations and therefore less visible that’s all.

It raises the question as to what our responsibility as Christians is in the area of social justice. John Wesley had a lot to say about that … but I’ll leave that for another time!