see-through faith

It’s ironic that my last (previous) post was about stablity – a reflection on what it might mean to ‘therefore stay’ rather than ‘go’ … and since then I’ve been on the move! God has a sense of humour

Inspire led a retreat on inside-out discipleship down in Kent last Saturday, a time of getting our hearts rid of the dis-ease we all feel sometimes, and a time of being put together again, so that our hearts can sing, and we can dance to the unseen unforced rhythm of God’s grace to us.

This regional retreat will be held in Bolton later in May and again in September down in Devon. If you are interested you can find out more here

that was the name of a series of teaching held at the local church here – got to love the name. I caught a couple of the series, and the last one was really interesting.

What I found fascinating was that the preacher took time to read the whole passage – not a snippet of the word – but the last 1½ chapters of acts (fr Acts 27:17-end). It was wonderful.

I can’t remember the last time that was done  (all too often we have little snippets of scripture)- and as he read- there were little asides to contextualise the passage, but otherwise it was a reading without interpretation..

In a church that has a whole lot of new believers many of whom might never have read this passage before it was brilliant. But even for this veteran it was wonderful to hear the story unfold. It was wonderful just to sit and hear the word of God.

The preach itself was really good.
His final point – to wrap up getting in on the acts – was to reiterate the last known words of Peter and of Paul. Paul said ‘
I want you to know that God’s salvation has been sent to the Gentiles, and they will listen. They will listen. (Acts 28:28)

What a prophetic word of promise and of hope!

This is an interesting model of the rhythm of discipleship. It’s a combination of models from Michael Frost, Alan Hirsch, and Mike Breen. It’s developed for students.

What I like about it is the every day and every week aspects – the actual rhythm, and the simple UP IN and OUT aspect of it.  What strikes me is that there’s a real focus on eating with others (both inside and outside of the community). Eating with others is pretty important in today’s individualistic culture. Only this week I met a student (from Southampton uni )  who said that with en suite rooms at universities and all the gadgets (iphone, ipad) students have nowadays, students were becoming more and more isolated. So it’s really good that this model does try to address this.

What the model above offers is a way to do discipleship, but what it lacks though is the accountability factor. It misses the point that we need others to help us in our discipleship,and that comes from meeting with other Christians intentionally to walk the walk!

Re-reading the Gospel of John at the moment with the aim of seeing how Jesus saw other people
Why?
So that I could learn from the Master!

You’ve all seen her – or him – looking a bit  – well not so nice in lycra – pounding the pavements in new jogging shoes, ones that haven’t seen much daylight before, perhaps a Christmas gift? (along with the lycra)  perhaps bought in the new year sales and tugged on that morning with a new determination to get fit, to get back in shape …

What we are seeing is a new year’s resolution being worked out (pun intended) and the cynic in all of us wonders will she – or he – keep it up? will they reach their fitness target this year? or in the not-too-distant future will the shoes and lycra be forgotten, pushed further back in the closet only to be discovered again and donated to oxfam or shelter?

I heard this illustration last Sunday (told much better than I tell it here) and was told too that the Covenant we make as Methodists has a better chance of success because we make it in community and by doing so we promise to help one another work out our salvation in daily life.

I like that idea though I am also very mindful that in a church setting there is the real possibility for layer upon layer of superficiality, the temptation to wear masks and pretend that life is ok (when it isn’t) that we are being good Christians (without grappling with what being Christian really means in our particular contexts) and each of us can be – easily be – very invisible in church. I think that’s why I’m so passionate about Inspire. In a small group of 3-4 who meet together regularly with the express purpose of helping each other work out what following Christ means in their daily lives, where accountability and direction are the name of the game, and where confidentiality is unquestioningly upheld – it is there I believe that we really can be transformed and be equipped to be the followers of Jesus that we’ve been called to be- and that we’ve promised to become!

But I digress.
I’m writing today as a sort of therapeutic procrastination.
My ‘to-do’ list is so long, it’s written on a dozen scraps of paper – all shapes and sizes and in several different pens – and much of the to-dos haven’t even made it from my head to the paper -  and I’m at that point of not even knowing where to start … and so I procrastinate.

I procrastine and I see a picture over at facebook of my friend’s to do list – a beautiful photograph of a beautifully written, thought out  list and on a purple clipboard  no less which makes it look funky and attractive and I realise I’m stuck in the boring and old … I need a new way of doing things like admin, I need a new look and a new start …

And so I follow the link and I read ..

I’m sort of struck: A habit is what we wear. A habit is the way we wear our days.

I look down at my jeans and there’s skin showing through this threadbare knee. I have habits that desperately need changing.

I’m a mess, out of good rhythms, dragging through days with these flabby focus-muscles.

And I recognise that my messiness leads to stagnation (and not to creativity at all) and has to be reined in, and I recognise that I’m powerless on my own to effect such a change (I can be like the lycra-cladded jogger make great intentions but I will not stick to them) and  that buying a lovely purple clip board really won’t be the answer – what I need is my fellowship band to hold me accountable and hold me in prayer, and I need the power and Spirit of God to become more Christlike in all areas of my life – including this one.

So help me God I desperately need to change and to be changed by You.

You too can follow the link …

Let the evidence speak for itself.

I haven’t journalled much of my walk with God in 2012. It’s not that I haven’t been walking with Him – or that there wouldn’t be anything to journal – I think I just fell out of the habit of seeing with eyes of faith (which also fell a bit to the wayside at the tail end of the year) or at least blogging about it.

I don’t do resolutions – but if I did I would resolve to post more often in 2013 – not because I think you need to read this, but because it is a good discipline for me. To see God at work in my life and acknowledge it. To question some of my choices and ways of doing things, ways of being – and allow the thoughts to mirror God at work in me. To let God in more …

I have one more week here in Finland then return to the UK for at least six months – to plod on with my PhD and also work for Inspire. It’s going to be an exciting and interesting period. But God has to be first or it’s all a waste of time -eternally speaking.
This morning as I was contemplating the year ahead I was reminded of this scripture

Psalm 97:1–6 The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad; let the distant shores rejoice. ² Clouds and thick darkness surround him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne. ³ Fire goes before him and consumes his foes on every side. ⁴ His lightning lights up the world; the earth sees and trembles. ⁵ The mountains melt like wax before the LORD, before the Lord of all the earth. ⁶ The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and all the peoples see his glory.I haven’t read it for ages yet it’s a favourite of mine.

In my mind I can see the Magestic Rockies ‘melting like wax’ before the even more Magestic Lord of Lords.
I can see the light shining and the distant shores rejoicing as in the words of the Hillsong worship chorus

You said “Ask and you will receive whatever you need”
You said “pray and I’ll hear from heaven and I’ll heal your land”
You said “Your glory will fill the earth like water the seas”
You said “Lift up your eyes, the harvest is here the Kingdom is near”
You said “Ask and I’ll give the nations to you”,
Oh Lord that’s the cry of my heart distant shores and the islands will see Your light as it rises on us

just love it, don’t you? You can hear it here

But it all starts with renewing our covenant with God. The start of a new year (no matter how artificial that is) is as good a place as any to do that. Wesley’s Covenant prayer is a fabulous aid to handing over our life to Him.
May the end of 2013 finish even better than it starts – let it be a year of radical commitment to following Jesus.

The words of Arthur Ashe (tennis player) are carved in stone at the site of the US open:

“From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life.”

I find that truly profound and challenging.

Last night, after a long absence, we opened up our home again to friend and stranger. We shared food and stories … and got in return a glipmse of life worth living.

Opening up your home like this is always a challenge. People arrive late. Some say they are coming /others do not. The strangers fit in – or they don’t. They don’t usally cook like you expect. They make a mess. They flood the shower/sauna. They smoke in the garden. They don’t go home in time for you to get to bed ontime (a huge challenge for hubby).

And yet in spite of all that – or maybe because of it – it IS a life worth living.

Faces light up

• as people are heard, are listened to, are affirmed.

• as the stories of others are engaged with.

• as people are affirmed in words and by gestures – a hug, a smile, a thumbs up.
• as folk recognise they are welcome, not for what they bring or what they do, because they are who they are.

An hour of cleaning up after, an hour or so less sleep than you’d like, all seems a very small price to pay for a life that is worth being part of.

‘The person who waits to hear from God may in the long run walk more swiftly’

I read this over at a friend’s blog. He was actually the ‘chaplain’ (on his sabbatical) on my first ever MA week here at Cliff College a few years ago. I think I looked like a deer in the headlights for a lot of the week. It did get easier but I look back with gratitude on the duplo ministry time and the words of encouragement to think outside of the box especially wrt to the church.

‘The person who waits to hear from God may in the long run walk more swiftly’

I like that quote though I find it hard to do.
It’s not that I am super busy all the time (especially when supposedly studying I seem to be good at taking breaks) it’s rather that I feel I squander the time -rather that actually wait for God.

I’ve blogged about it before. A prophetic word given to me in Toronto more than ten years ago still travels with me – in my heart. I was told I was called to be a lady-in-waiting to the Lord. I interpreted that as helping and serving. I think I seriously underestimated the the waiting bit.

I am the transition stages of moving back to Finland again. I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t think church or work wise it looks particularly rosy. I do have the opportunity to carry on with my PhD if I can find financing for it. And the uncertainty reminds me – again- that waiting on God is important for me and not just for other people.

These couple of months in particualr need to be a time of

Waiting
Listening
Discerning

A quote from the same book (Donald Eadie’s A Grain in Winter) – and I’m struck that yes at times I feel a bit like that grain of wheat in winter. Dormant if not dying. I know its needed to produce new life – but have to say this winter has been a long one!) Nonetheless this quote is just so encouraing …

‘To wait open endedly is an enormously radical attitude toward life .So it is to trust that something will happen to us that is far beyond our own imaginings . So, too, is giving up control over our future and letting God define our life , trusting that God moulds us according to God’s love and not according to our fear’

The question I need to ask is -do I trust God to mould me according to his love and not according to my own fears? If not, how can I allow my trust to grow?

This isn’t my photo, so am only providing a link to it here. This art work (Probably by Banksy -and a more recent photo shows it now under a perspex/glass protection) really does make me think

All round the UK bunting and union flags are starting to be used to decorate the villages and town centres … to celebrate both the Diamond Jubilee (in June) and the Olympic torch relay which has already started and will culminate in the opening ceremony in London’s East End (in July). But something that perhaps should be of more concern is where the bunting and union flags come from, and the conditions under which they have been made.

Just before Christmas I was blessed to visit Liverpool – my first proper visit ever. I was shocked to learn that Liverpool was founded on the wealth of the sugar plantations and the slave trade. Today there is still slavery – and sometimes the cheap imports in shops such as the one Banksy did this art work – are guilty of selling products made under inhumane conditions just so we can buy cheap. (That said there is also evidence of expensive branded products being produced in equally slave-like conditions)

Much to think about.
Much to act upon ….

I’m leaving my laptop behind.

Let’s see what God shows me ….

Back in a week.