see-through faith

I’m no fan of Margaret Thatcher and her politics, but I am a fan of Meryl Streep and so excitedly went to see the movie Iron Lady last night. It did not disappoint.

The Iron Lady is not so much about Thatcher herself, nor on the fact that she was Britain’s first – and only – PrimeMinister, but rather an insight into what it is like to be robbed of one’s former power because of dementia and memory loss.  I found that aspect of the film wonderful, but awful at the same time.  What must it really be like? For Thatcher, in her more lucid moments, it is potentially even harder, because whatever our opinions about the way she led Britian in the 80s is, she was a woman who -for more than a decade – was probably the most influential woman in Europe. But where the movie really excels is in making us actually face up to the reality that Alzheimers and/or dementia is no joke to the victim or indeed their family and friends, and people they work with.

Maggie Thatcher was in power almost all the years I lived in England as an adult. The Tories won the first general election I was eligible to vote in (1979) – and no they didn’t get my vote!-  and she was still prime Minister when I moved to Finland in 1986, (and at the time of the birth of my son in 1990). That’s a long time, and a lot of memories.

From a political point of view I think this film was almost prophetic. Flashback scene after flashback scene I was thrown right back into the present, sitting in the “Ikea lounge” here at College, reading the Times or the Guardian:  Unemployment: 3 million (today 2.7 million); Riots in Brixton (last summer in Tottenham), and the Falklands (again those islands are headline news). I know history is said to repeat itself, but really, do we have such short memories? Cameron really is a ‘Grandchild’ of Thatcherism it seems.

What the film also picks up really well is how Thatcher was really the woman who broke through the glass ceiling of politics in Britain, and indeed the whole world. There are few examples of female world leaders before her, (and not that many since) and scene after scene you see her – in royal blue – taking on the see of grey and black suits. She wasn’t a feminist and did little to help the cause of women, (there were no other women in her cabinet) but perhaps part of her legacy was that she did not respect the old rules which said that as a woman she couldn’t do the job. Funny I’ve never seen that before though I do remember one poster put up by the Tories at Stirling University during the election of 79 which said “Try a woman on top for a change!” and all the connotations that raised! (I don’t think they’d get away with that today!)

This morning I found myself wondering a bit about the ethics of the film itself.
Margaret Thatcher is still alive – living, one presumes, not that far from here, in conditions somewhat similar to that shown on the film. The opening scene in particular felt a bit like voyeurism or paparazzism, and because presumably this old lady couldn’t have made a fully informed decision about the making of the film and its contents, is it – in some way at least – an invasion of her privacy I wonder? The Kings Speech, also a wonderful film, was delayed until after the death of not only the King himself, but also his spouse, the Queen Mother (half a decade later). I wonder if The Iron Lady too ought to have been delayed until Maggie is dead and buried. But then we might have been denied seeing the wonderful Meryl Streep taking on this hugely challenging roll. She was superb!

This film really is a must-see, and not only for the Brits!

I saw the most wonderful moonrise yesterday evening. Sadly I didn’t have my camera with me. Tonight I did, but the moon didn’t appear in the same place/way … and now it’s cloudy – go figure.

Somethings are probably just to be enjoyed ‘in the moment’ and then remembered.

England. Have to love it!

Arrived back here yesterday. No problems at all with the transport in spite of there (finally!) being several centimetres of snow in Turku.    And my friend, travelling up from Leicester, just made her connection so we were able to meet up at rural Grindleford station cafe, where another friend brought us back to the college.

That’s when the fun and games started.

Firstly my electronic keycard didn’t work. There was no-one on duty this weekend (term starts in a week, though we have a MA week starting tomorrow) but luckily one of the team does live on site and was at home, so he let us in.

The flat was cold. Nothing unusual in that – it had been turned down low over the break – but then I noticed there was no lighting, no hot water and yes no heating at all. Luckily we’d been invited to have supper by the friend who’d picked us up from the station and luckily the sockets were on another circuit so it was possible to make a cup of tea and watch the final of strictly come dancing (which I’d been unable to see in Finland) on the pc. Finally the lights and heating came on .. but yeah fun and games, English style sums it all!

It’s good to be back -and it will be interesting to see what other adventures lie ahead this year.

A friend (my angel during angel week last year at college) posted this word for 2012 over in facebook

‘… For i am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.’ (Habakkuk 1:5)

It encouraged me so much.

God doesn’t always tell us things in advance – that’s part of the adventure of the journey I think (and yes very frustrating at times!). I’m not too great at following the Spirit. I like to think of myself, my life, my journey as being a bit like a sailing boat, with the sails set to catch the wind – and sail off to the distant enticing horizon – but all too often the wind comes from the ‘wrong’ direction, and my sails are set wrong, and it seems as if the boat is about to capsize – indeed it does capsize, and it’s then I realise I’ve put my faith, my trust, my hope in either the boat or the way I’ve set the sails.

God is going to do something in my life that I would not believe even if I heard Him tell me.

That’s part of the adventure. That’s part of sitting in a new sailing vessels, with the sails not set, but watching and listening for the sign that He is on the move.

Archbishop Rowan said that mission is about seeing the Spirit at work and joining in.

It really is that simple.

But seeing means being alert and ready. (Isn’t that what Jesus was refering to in that parable? You know the one about the wise women and the lamps! Mt 25:1-13)  It also means being ready to obey …

The prophetic word for 2012 means a lot to me personally. I don’t quite get it -and that IS the point. It doesn’t even say that the ‘something’ that God will do will be wonderful, but because He is my Father, I can trust it will all work out for good.

Welcome to whatever God wants to happen in my life, and through my life, this year!
Thank you Angel for that word to ponder on. It’s encouraged me no end!

My friend’s sister was telling me earlier today about her job. She’s the missionary’s point of call in one mission society here in Finland. As she put it sometimes what the missionaries need is a place to vent.

That’s true for friends too.

Sometimes we’re called to listen, that’s all.
That doesn’t come easy for someone like me who likes to analyse and then fix things.

Spiritual direction (the focus of my PhD) is about listening, (both to the other person and to God) and then asking the right questions to help the person discern God in their life for themselves. It’s not crisis counselling, but its focus is helping people make sense of things.

I wish I were better at the listening.

A friend and colleague of mine, Sharon Prior, is one of the founders of Sophia Network : although their tagline is wisdom of women in youth work, I see the netwok more about empowering women and girls, particularly – but not exclusively – in the church.

The Sophia Network exists to connect women in youth work and ministry, to access training, develop skills and share wisdom.

We focus our energy in four areas:

• partnership – through everything we do we encourage women and men to work together in ways that reflect the heart of God.
• relationships – facilitating enhanced working relationships between youth workers; creating environments in which female youth workers can build relationships with each other; emphasising the importance of mentoring for youth workers and young people.
• voice – advocacy on behalf of women in youth work; raising awareness of how gender affects youth work and ministry.
• training – providing excellent training to develop confidence, skills and professional expertise.

Our ultimate aim is to encourage women and men to work together more closely in a way that reflects the heart of God, but we recognize that sometimes issues need to be addressed before women can contribute on a level playing field.

This month the Sophia Network is running a series of articles called Empowering Women in 2012. Women, interviewed so far, Helen Tomblin, and Tania Bright-Cook.  Go check it out – I think you’ll be hooked.

As if this wasn’t enough … I was also encouraged today to read over in the Guardian of how a charity is sponsoring a project in Tower Hamlets, (London) where the barriers between schoolgirls and older women are being broken down, and the local community is being brought closer together by this mix of old and young women. Just like the good old days? …maybe!

It doesn’t seem that long since the turn of the millenium does it?
So much has happened since then.
In our household a lot seems to happen in a week -let alone a year – or in this case 12 years!
We had no dogs back then. Hard to imagine!
And I remember being on the hill nearby watching the Turku fireworks, and all of us had sparklers and joined them together. FUN:

My circle of friends in Finland (with a few exceptions) was very different back then.
Some good friends moved abroad -others got divorced – and our kids grew up. I mean really grew up.
Back then TS was only a young teen, and DD wasn’t even a teenager -now they are both done with school and young adults. We’re proud of them both, but sometimes look back to their pre-teen years as the golden age!

And a couple of years ago I rediscovered London. The city of my birth. Discarded for most of my time living in Finland. Refound. The British Museum, Oxford Street, Hyde Park, Covent Garden, musuems and theatre … and now
2012.
The Olympics in London.

I read of the logo controversy with interest. Have to say the royal mail stamps for the occasion are even worse. Good grief. Dull and boring. Hope the rest of the year and especially the Queen’s jubilee is a bit more colourful. I shall be in England for that. No idea what to expect. In 2011 a group of us here got together to watch the Royal Wedding. What struck me then was that each of the six of us wanted to get something different from the day – for one it was the music from Westminster Abbey, another the sermon, another the ‘who’s who’ run down, and another the hats and outfits. I enjoyed the pink champagne and chocolate … it was colourful and fun.

I think that’s what I hope most from this new year – more colour and more adventure. Not that life is boring, but being Jesus’ disciple should always be adventurous don’t you think? And the journey more exciting because we don’t know all the answers (or questions) not at all how it will all work out in detail.

I love Advent, -and here in Finland I think Vappu (May 1st) is my favourite holiday … with all the anticipation of summer still to come, but I really am not a New Year kind of person.

I’m not really sure why that is. Advent and for me Vappu are about about looking forward to something. But I get profounded disturbed by the celebrating of the turning of the clock at midnight. My new year begins at a different time to yours (unless you happen to be in my time zone that is)  so celebrating the start of a New Year seems very arbitary.

And don’t get me started about fireworks. I don’t like them. They frighten me. And they are such a collosal waste of money! Here in Finland it used to be that fireworks were not sold to individuals – they were just (relatively modest) public displays. Then the laws were relaxed and people went mad. They are still only sold to over 18s (over 15s for some), and setting them off is supposedly restricted to between 6pm and 6am tonight, but …

And then I think of all those New Year’s resolutions. Made with sincerity but easily forgotten or cast aside. What is it with us? Do we think that the arbitary turning of the New Year gives us greater resolve than we had a day before. Crazy.

In the Methodist Church there is a tradition of having a Covenant Service on the first Sunday of the year. It’s a time when members renew their promise to be a disciple. That kind of service is not usual here in Finland, but I can see some merit in it.  Wesley’s Covenant prayer, however, is not for the feint hearted.

I am no longer my own, but thine.

Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.

Put me to doing, put me to suffering.

Let me be employed for thee or laid aside for thee,

exalted for thee or brought low for thee.

Let me be full, let me be empty.

Let me have all things, let me have nothing.

I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal.

And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,

thou art mine, and I am thine.

So be it.

And the covenant which I have made on earth,

let it be ratified in heaven.

Amen.

I’ve posted on it before. They are clauses in it that are easy to say perhaps, but really hard to live.

What does no longer being my own but belonging totally to God mean? It means the end of individualism that’s for a start. It’s a total surrendor of all we are to God.

And the ‘Let me be employed for you or laid aside for you’ – it sounds so noble doesn’t it – but it is a real act of discipleship to serve God in the invisible, unacknowledged tasks, rather than in a public leadership role that is understood and accepted by the church. I think of pioneers of faith who plod away at what God has set them aside to do – often rejected by mainstream church (yes even the MC!) and go about the Father’s business with no job security, pension or manse.

As for having ‘all things’ or ‘nothing’ … Like so many of us, I really struggle with not having. Our family live relatively frugal lives I think, certainly we aren’t affluent or particularly wasteful, but to have nothing … the Godly Play adaptation of the Pearl of Great Price.  What to me when my friend Storyteller told the story is how dramatic it is that the man first sells the ‘extra’ things in his house, then his carpet, then his bed … and even his WHOLE HOUSE! A little junior churcher exclaimed ‘nooooo!’ at that point and it sums it all up … am I still willing to be a disciple if I have nothing of the things I value left? Am I able to praise God in that – and keep Him in focus and continue serving – and not see it as a storm that will pass (eventually). Job was able to praise God throughout the trials and the nothingness, even without knowing that at the end he would receive so much more.

The Covenant Prayer is a commitment to live all this (and more).
It is most certainly something we cannot do in our own strength just because it’s New Year.

What I’ve never said is that Wesley never specified that it should be used at a particular time of year. Some churches choose to use the covenant prayer in September when the MC new appointments come into effect. That ties in with the start of the academic year too. But in all honesty I think the Covenant prayer is probably best prayed daily because it’s such a deep commitment. We cannot live up to on our own.

Wesley asked for the Covenant to be ratified in Heaven. It’s a prayer of partnership with God. We need the Spirit of God to be alive and well in us to be able to surrender all to God. And, I think, we  also need a tight group of Christian friends to help us on our way. Not always pointing the finger at every slip, but helping us up again (not making excuses or justifications) and getting us back on track – to live our discipleship in a radical way.

That’s the calling on our lives every day, not just new year’s day. But today, New Year’s Eve, has given me a chance to reflect on what it means to be a radical disciple of Jesus Christ, and for that I’m grateful.

A friend from Cliff College challenged us to think of the best of 2011. Thanks Bx!

Here’s what I came up with – in random order

* DD’s graduation from HighSchool. So proud of her.

* Finnish summer. Summertime when the living is easy … I love the long days, and in June the weather was hot! Sailing is always a highlight of any summer.

* Turku – capital of culture 2011. I missed the secondhalf of the year but it was wonderful to have so many random encounters with art and culture. The rocking chairs by the River Aura (though awful weather) was a real highlight of the year.  Photo here

*Godly play. Seeing junior church really take off last spring and getting involved much more than I meant to. This Saturday was definitely a highlight for me!

*Photoblogging. I’ve loved shooting pictures and seeing God at work more or less on a daily basis. In London I had a go at portraits snapped at random. Here’s one that I love. It reminded me that everyone has a story to tell .. watching part of this one unfold was special.

*Autumn 2011 meant a new chapter in our family. DD skipped over to Italy for a year (au pair in Torino) while I began -gulp -a PhD progamme at Cliff College.

The Plan
(Hubby never far from my heart)

* My prayer closet in England. Amazing testimony to how this came about!

* puppies! This was the C litter (3rd set) – firstborns to Misty.

* angel week at Cliff College. Such a lot of fun and what a blessing too!

* trip to Liverpool. Albert Docks. Beatles’ Museum. Tate Liverpool. Cocktails. Music. Fish and Chips.

*coming home, being with family, new hair cut and earring from DD for my (belated) birthday.

Life is good

Above all thankful for God and His faithfulness throughout 2011.

U2 fans are probably familiar with this quote

“We’ve found different ways of expressing it, and recognized the power of the media to manipulate such signs. Maybe we just have to sort of draw our fish in the sand. It’s there for people who are interested. It shouldn’t be there for people who aren’t.” — Bono on faith, quoted in U2 at the End of the World

I really like that image of drawing our fish in the sand.

The early Christians, under persecution, used the sign of the fish to communicate that they were believers.
One would draw a ( in the sand.

If the other were a Christian and knew the ‘tradition’ they’d add their )  in the sand

Voila! the sign of the fish.

The sign of the fish meant nothing to nonbelievers. They hadn’t heard – or responded – to the call to become fishers of men. I think that’s what Bono meant when he said ‘it’s there for people who are interested – it shouldn’t be there (be visible, intrude) for people who aren’t.

A young guy, an undergrad at Cliff college, started a new blog this week. In his first post he used the term ‘God botherers’. I hadn’t heard it before, but could instantly identify with it. I hope you can too.  I dislike – and I bet you do too – JWs coming to my door – or the Mormons. Their knocking on the door is an intrusion, an invasion of my time and my space. Why then do we as Christians so often think that this kind of cold door-to-door in-your-face salesman type of evangelism is God honouring. I don’t think it is. Not usually.

What matters far more, carries more weight, but is infinitely harder to go about, I think, – is allowing others to get to know us as we really are.

Does my life shine? am I good ambassador for the Kingdom? Do I live what I preach?

Who we are (deep down) and how we relate to one-other matters, it really does.  Jesus got that. Jesus taught that. Jesus modelled that. The incarnation- Jesus being born on earth – was all about His moving into our neighbourhood, becoming and being one of us, learning our language, customs and ways – and then challenging the way of life when it didn’t line up with God’s plan. Jesus’ own didn’t always accept Him, but He went on drawing his fish in the sand ( Jn 8). And those who believed in Him, were changed – inside and out – and learnt to recognise just what fishing really meant.